Szwedzi swoimi przyzwyczajeniami wydają się być bardzo podobni do Szwajcarów
YOU KNOW YOU ARE FROM SWEDEN WHEN :
1. You either take it for granted that cars will stop for pedestrians OR you have serious difficulties crossing the street when there is a red light. Even when there are no cars.
2. You love complaining about Sweden when you are there and state ”it’s much better in Sweden” when you are abroad.
3. You split the bill by the exact penny after eating at a restaurant.
4. You don’t mind women using the men’s bathroom in clubs if the queue to the „Ladies” is long.
5. You don’t mind walking instead of taking the car.
6. You put toilet paper on the seat in a public toilet and double fold it neatly.
7. At cafés, you find it completely normal walking all the way to the counter to order and then carrying it yourself to the table rather than being waited on.
8. You count how many cigarettes you borrow or give away – just to be sure it’s fair.
9. You always carry a pocket full of coins to pay for public toilets or the toilets at McDonalds
10. You don’t mind sharing the toilet cubicle with all of your friends to save 5 SEK.
11. You would happily catch the tube to the suburbs at 3am or walk alone through a park at night, but you’d NEVER ride in a car without your seatbelt
12. You find it difficult to breathe if your internet shuts down, even just for a little while.
13. Doing a PowerPoint presentation in a university abroad, you make sure that the Swedish flag is in at least one picture (even though you would never do that at a Swedish university)
14. You secretly love the Eurovision Song Contest to pieces.
15. You know at least 10 Abba songs by heart.
16. You are prone to stand in line without complaining.
17. You get extremely annoyed with inefficiency.
18. Whenever discussing international problems you always, without exception state that „why don’t you do it like we do it in Sweden?”
19. You take your shoes off when entering a house, and don’t get why non-Swedes find that funny.
20. Generally, you prefer writing in pencil, so you get thoroughly confused and insecure when told to write in pen during exams in schools abroad.
21. You constantly try to avoid meeting your neighbors in the stairwell.
22. You try to explain „The Law of Jante” to non-Swedes..!
23. You are or have been addicted to Playahead/Lunarstorm/Helgon and/or Bilddagboken and judge people depending on which of these communities they belong to.
24. You complain about people not talking in the bus or in lifts, even though they never do it in Havanna nor Madrid nor anywhere else in the world either.
25. You take it as a personal insult when someone looks at you on the bus
26. You think people are too intrusive when they stand closer than 1½ meter away from you, even if you are at a crowed busses or trains.
27. After having realized that someone is standing on your foot in the underground, you think that the best idea is to not say anything at all or maybe cough or nod a little in order to attract the attention of the person standing on your foot.
28. You would rather stand up on the bus for an hour than bother the person who’s handbag is currently occupying the last available seat.
29. You see a woman with a baby carriage trying to get on the bus you’re in, so you pretend to be sleeping so you don’t have to help her with it.
30. You would never use public transportation without a valid ticket, even though it’s ridiculously overpriced.
31. Everybody applauds when your flight lands. What we would do if it crashed? Boo, perhaps?
32. You’re used to sorting all your laundry into 30, 40 and 60 degree Celsius piles and become quite upset when you can only choose between ‚warm’ and ‚cold’
33. You call yourself a Christian despite the fact that the only time you ever went to church was the last day of school in the summer.
34. You happily engage in a conversation about the weather.
35. You hate to ‚lose face’ in public, and will act like everyone else to prevent this from happening.
36. You talk about politics at house parties.
37. You find it perfectly normal to let 19 year olds drive tanks all by themselves.
38. You actually do care if your mobile phone meets the fashion standard.
39. You have a billion pictures of yourself, and 90% of those you took yourself.
40. Everytime you see a Swedish Brand/actor/company/phone/car/furniture store you feel compelled to point that out to your Non-Swedish friends (with barely hidden pride in your voice).
41. You get annoyed by people standing to the left in the escalator.
42. You get on the train before letting people off because the train might leave without you!
43. You get up from your seat one stop early; the train might leave before you’re off!
44. You plan every second of your day, including the visits to the bathroom.
45. You insist on convincing people that the Vikings were the first to discover America.
46. You buy an ( S ) sticker for your Volvo even if you are living outside the borders of Sweden
47. You find it perfectly normal to book a washing machine room several weeks in advance – and no matter what happens on the day (marriage proposal, spontaneous partying, celebrity sighting etc…) you will do your washing on time, damn it!
48. Living with your partner and having kids together without even planning on getting married is perfectly normal.
49. You go to a gig and people, even if they are standing at the back, are wearing earplugs.
50. Your natural response to a conflict is writing an angry letter to the editor of your local newspaper. Again.
51. Living abroad, you wanted to put up a Swedish flag outside your flat but were told not to by your neighbors and friends, and even when you wanted to put up a little blue and yellow banner they still told you not to, and you never got why it was a really bad idea.
52. You get really stressed and confused at the post office abroad when they don’t use “the thing that you take the numbered ticket from that tells you when it’s your turn”.
53. When in other countries you sigh about all the official paperwork that needs to be done, since it’s so much easier in Sweden.
54. You spend most of your summers in the park playing a game with wooden sticks, and when telling confused Non-Swedes about it you insist that it’s the best game ever.
55. You carefully rinse your plates etc. after washing-up, since it appeals you that your Non-Swedish flat mates leave them to dry, still covered in dirty washing-up water.
56. You know which hotdog is yours on the barbeque, even though everybody has brought the same type, and you also feel genuinely disturbed if someone at the party forgot to bring food and wants some of yours.
57. You refer to your age by stating the year you were born.
58. You refer to people from the capital by stating the first two digits in their phone number. (08:or)
59. You are never too old to get happy and excited when you hear the sounds of the ice cream van.
60. You always talk „Lumparminnen” when you meet other Swedish men around the world, and always quotes your officers.
61. You answer the phone by saying your first name.
62. Your non Swedish friends take the piss out of you speaking Swedish on the phone because every second word you say is „bra”.
63. You end your phone calls with ‚puss puss’ and then don’t understand at all why the English-speaking people around you looks at you like you’re a retard or a pervert.
64. You consider your pet a proper member of the family, and speak to them not with a baby voice (which most nationalities do) but as one would to your average person.
65. Regardless of where in the world you find yourself, you always address animals in Swedish.
66. You collect plastic bags, and can’t believe you get them for free abroad.
67. You rattle the toilet door handle like hell, even though it’s clearly locked.
68. You are always apologizing, even if you don’t know why.
69. You loudly proclaim that the tap water in your home is better than mineral water sold in supermarkets (anywhere in the world).
70. You only make love to Buddy Holly
71. You drive a cab in -20 degrees Celsius just to show you have one.
72. You start a subscription of a magazine just to get hold of the free gift. Then, you quit your subscription.
73. You somehow never fall sick on Fridays, Saturdays or Sundays, since you know no doctor would be available anyway.
74. You insist on sitting outside to have lunch/coffee/beer wrapped in a blanket (or two!) although it’s only ten-something degrees outside and barely sunny, since it’s finally time for „uteservering”.
75. You don’t mind letting people know what you’re planning on doing when you go to the bathroom.
76. You can peel an orange in your pocket.
77. You find net curtains (they’re big on them in the UK & Netherlands) highly offensive as they ruin any opportunity for you to stare in to other people’s house when you walk past.
78. You catch a bit of blue and yellow out of the corner of your eye and look to see if it’s the Swedish flag or something with the Swedish flag, preferably a football shirt you can wear during the next World Cup.
79. You find it annoying that you have to tip in a restaurant outside of Sweden.
80. You think it’s normal to get your post delivered through a hole in the door
81. You go on a date in Sweden and the guy only pays for his own coffee.
82. You don’t drink or eat anything that is one day past its “best before date.”
83. You stay home from work just to see the plumber work at your house.
84. You find the plumber sexy
85. You wait at least one hour after you’ve eaten before you go swimming. You being Swedish you’re bound to drown otherwise…
86. You believe it is very uncommon for people under twenty five to actually be married
87. You expect government institutions to be efficient and quick in dealing with your problems.
88. You threatened your parents to call “BRIS” at least once when they didn’t let you stay out as long as you wanted.
89. You think it’s perfectly normal to go out and party every weekend from the age of 13.
90. You openly discuss taboo subjects like sex and politics at the dinner table or parties or with strangers.
91. You call your parents, and even your grandparents, by their first names.
92. After eating at a café/restaurant, you think it’s completely normal to tidy your table, collect all your stuff onto a tray and carry it over a trolley so that the staff doesn’t have to do it.
93. You feel awkward using a lift with people you don’t know, so you desperately try to find a spot somewhere to focus your eyes until you reach your floor. Then you feel a sense of relief and joy.
94. You are ashamed to sing in English because of your Swedish accent (although all Non-Swedes find it very cute).
95. You’re painfully proud to inform a Non-Swede that there actually was an entire week with over 30 degrees Celsius this summer.
96. On the night of the 25th every month, you “go wild” with expensive drinks and excessive amounts of beer. When you wake up the day after, your money for the next month is more or less gone.
97. You read or write a note about how hard it is to do your laundry if the person before you didn’t remove the dust from the tumble drier.
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